What is Bliss?

I recently re-listened to RadioLab's episode on bliss and it got me thinking about perfect moments. Those rare moments of total, world-shaking happiness. That feeling is often life-altering, and yet it is so difficult to recreate. Which raises some interesting questions... Can you create bliss? Can you feel bliss if you haven't experienced depravation? Does how you live affect your ability to feel bliss? If you look for bliss, are you more likely to find it?

The other day, I was getting ready to take my first run of the ski season, and as I walked through the ski shop someone said, "You look so happy". I stopped for a moment and realized that I was giddy with excitement and grinning from ear to ear. It wasn't a moment of bliss, but it reminded me that in order to feel bliss you must first slow down and be more open to fully feeling happiness. I was so busy organizing and checking in with other people that I forgot to be in that moment.

I do that a lot. Being a planner and anxiety-prone, I spend more time thinking about what I should have done or what I should be doing and miss what I am doing and how I feel in the present moment. It's definitely something to work on in the new year. But during this time of holiday reflection and nostalgia, I started thinking about my moments of bliss and happiness.

Happy moments can be created. Here is a list of things that, almost without fail, make me happy.

Happy moments:

• Dinners with my mom and stepfather
• Random acts of thoughtful kindness 
• My dog's love and loyalty
• Listening to a great podcast 
• The perfectly crafted and timed tweet
• Watching funny animal videos on YouTube with my sister
• Jumping a horse
• Philz Coffee in the morning
• First tracks on a powder day

Blissful moments are more serendipitous. They can't be created and can't be forgotten. A blissful moment forces you into the present and makes you want to stay there as long as you can. I have only had a handful of overcome-with-happiness-shout-it-from -the-rooftop moments. All blissful moments come after intense periods of physical and mental challenges when I am physically present, pushed to the limit. Is there a connection? I think so.

Blissful moments

• Summiting Kilimanjaro at sunrise in a snow storm with 30 mile per hour winds
• Crossing the finish line of my first marathon with my best friend
• Hugging my mom and sister at the end of the 565-mile AIDS bike ride from SF-LA

When was the last time you screamed with happiness?

Going Vegan... For Now

It all started with a book. I recently picked up Rich Roll's Finding Ultra seeking inspiration as I train for my first triathalon. In the same way that Born to Run completely transformed the way that I think about running and endurance, Finding Ultra has shifted the way that I think about food and the proper mentality for obtaining lofty goals.

Rich is a man of extremes, a recovering alcoholic turned utlra distance triathlete, he is not one to do anything in moderation. If a little is good, then a lot is better. Which got me thinking, if eating healthfully most of the time makes me feel pretty good, then would eating healthfully all the time make me feel amazing?

Typical meals for me:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with dried cherries and almonds or a Kind bar if I am in a hurry

Lunch: Salad with cheese, chicken, cucumbers, avocado and drizzled with olive oil

Snack: string cheese and salted nuts

Dinner: Arugula, shrimp or chicken, beans, rice, parmesan cheese, and a big glass of wine or beer

Dessert: Chocolate or ice cream

Healthy diet by most standards, but my moods, energy levels, and trouble sleeping made me think that I was missing something. I worried about my gluten and soy intake and contemplated the Paleo diet, but it was hard to cut through the bullshit and find compelling evidence that I should make any one particular change to my diet.

Vegetarian and especially vegan diets always sounded extreme. I associated them with animal rights fanatics and people who used it as a guise for an eating disorder. I assumed that they were all protein deficient, lacking key vitamins like B12 and minerals like Iron. But then I began to read about vegan ultra endurance athletes. I read their stories about how switching to a plant based diet improved their energy, performance and mood. Still I was reluctant to consider it as something I could adopt, but I began to read more about it. I found myself on sites like MindBodyGreen, and looking at vegan recipes on Pinterest, and reading every article I could get my hands on. Compelling physiological, psychological, environmental, and ethical evidence began to mount.

It still sounds extreme, but if it really improves my mind and body, then isn't it worth it? Why not try it and see? Afterall, if you want something you've never had, then you have to do something you've never done.

I am on day two and feeling good. I will keep you posted...

Did you know that it takes 10x the amount of energy to produce a calorie from animal based foods, then it does from plants?

Update: Vegan experimented ended after 8 months. Ultimately, I enjoy food too much to limit my diet. I opt for vegetarian meals often and have some killer vegan recipes that continue to be in high rotation.

Hello 2013, We Are Going To Be Good Friends

I am not really one for resolutions. Most of them feel like band aids for things that were perceived as failures or shortcomings from the previous year. My approach is to spend some time really digging into the why and the how of the year's highs and lows, and then putting together a list of lessons learned and very specific goals for the new year.

I like this 'What I Learned list from Lena Dunham:

For me, this year has been a discombobulating pendulum of good and bad, but I think the sharp juxtapositions have made me more acutely aware and motivated to learn and grow.

Here is my list of lessons learned in 2012 (still in process):

1. Most obstacles are mental

2. I can run 26.2 miles without walking

3. It is ok to not have a long term plan

4. There is just as much value in finding out what you don't want

5. I am a workaholic, even if i dislike my job, my natural state of being is working

6. Good girlfriends are hard to find, but well worth the search

7. It is better to share ideas/ emotions/ thoughts early, rather than waiting until they are fully formed or "perfect"

8. Say yes a lot more than no

Goals for 2013 (so far):

1. Run a marathon in under 4 hours

2. Spend less time worrying about what other people think

3. Climb Mt Kilimanjaro

4. Take time to stretch and improve flexibility

5. Devote more time actively cultivating my creativity

6. Learn to play 3 songs on the piano by heart

7. Cultivate negative capability

8. Learn the basics of HTML and Javascript coding

9. Complete the AIDS ride from SF to LA

(already signed up!)

Making Dad Proud

I can still hear my father telling me and my younger sister, "I want a lawyer and a doctor. You can decide who will pursue which." Always terrified of blood and never one to shy away from a debate, I naturally chose lawyer. As I grew older, I began to flirt with the pursuit of other careers-- psychologist, journalist, politician-- but when it came time to graduate from college, and the knot of uncertainty began to tighten in my chest, I was swayed by this deeply engrained paternal push towards the well-trodden path to "success".

I loved studying for the LSATs and I knew I would probably enjoy law school, but I couldn't imagine being a lawyer. The closer application deadlines came, the more I found myself researching alternative career options. I had energy, and passion, and diverse interests-- I just wasn't sure how it would all come together. So after taking the LSATs, I called my father and told him I would not be applying for law school. With a breathy mixture of confusion, frustration and disappointment he said "Oh Brigie, there is plenty of time for pursuing other things. Now is the time to focus on building your career." While part of me still agreed with him, I just decided I was going to dive into the unknown and figure it out.

Four years, two internships, two jobs, and 5-weeks of volunteering in Tanzania later, I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I "grow up". There are times when everything seems to line up perfectly and my experience and passions are in perfect harmony with the work and opportunities before me, and then there are times when it feels like a terrible jazz song that has no followable melody or beat.

I have always quietly thought of myself as an entrepreneur, but it wasn't until I read Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha's book,

The Startup Of You

that I understood that being an entrepreneur is more than just having an idea and starting a business, it's about approaching your work the way an entrepreneur would build a startup: invest in yourself, adapt to changing conditions, and take risks. I think about my career as being in permanent beta.

In spite of this validation for the unconventional approach, I still struggled to convince my father that what I was spending my time in valuable and respectable ways.

When I quit my job at a well-known technology PR company in San Francisco to spend 5-weeks volunteering in Tanzania and climbing Kilimanjaro, I wasn't sure if my father would ever recover. However, after four weeks worth of Skype calls and emails recounting my adventures in a small village near the base of Kilimanjaro, as I was preparing to climb Kilimanjaro, I received this email:

This post was

inspired by a blog

written by Scott Wu,

Upstart

's Corporate Development Lead

Truthiness Has Gone Too Far: Lessons From the Jury Box

When I told people I was called to jury duty, most offered up advice on how to be excused—tell the judge you have a business trip, give biased answers to the attorneys questions during voi dire, have your doctor write you a note. A direct correlation developed between the frequency my peers were advising me to get dismissed and the strength in my assurance that I should serve.

The morning of my jury duty, I joined several hundred of my peers in a room in the basement of the courthouse. We watched a video and were reminded of the importance of jury duty in our judicial system. I hopped on the WiFi and spent the next three hours working on my iPad waiting to be called to a courtroom or dismissed.

Shortly after lunch, the remaining 60 of us were called up to a courtroom. Then the complex game of selection began. Hardships were granted to those who had finals, pre-arranged business trips, and were not fluent in english. Those not granted hardships were then asked questions by the attorneys, at this time it became abundantly clear that the majority of full-time professionals had heard the advice about giving biased answers, and were quickly excused.

Four hours later, we had a final juror comprised of eleven women, one man and two female alternates. Two thirds of these jurors did not have college degrees and most worked clerical or service jobs. This is the county wherein Silicon Valley lies, but all of that education and diverse backgrounds were not represented in that jury box.

For the next three and a half days we sat through expert testimony regarding blood alcohol testing equipment, tolerance, rates of alcohol absorption, blood versus breath tests, field sobriety tests, and anything else you can imagine that pertains to drinking and driving. It was a tremendous amount of information, which seemed to be part of the defense's strategy-- overwhelm the juror's with information and hope that they convolute their inability to comprehend the specifics with reasonable doubt as it pertains to the specifics of this case.

When we finally began deliberations, it became clear that the task of understanding and logically applying the law to the facts of the case without contamination from sympathy and emotions was far too great for many of the jurors. When that small room became clouded with statements and questions like "He will be branded a criminal", "Thats not how I act when I'm drunk", "People should never drink and drive" I wanted to scream, "Objection! Outside the scope."

At the close of the first full day of deliberations I was consumed with sadness and frustration. Frustration that we had spent so much time discussing things that did not matter and talking in circles, and sad that the majority of this selection of my peers was either incapable or unaccustomed to critical thinking and logical reasoning.

Is this the endgame of an education system that places too much focus on self-esteem and participation instead of accountability and aptitude?

When debate ensued regarding the specifics of a juror's reasoning, the other juror's would often grow uncomfortable with the polite (and may I add necessary) debate and says things like, "I guess we are each entitled to our own opinions." While that may be true when it comes to subjective things like one's taste in movies or food. When it comes to jury duty, you are not entitled to opinions that are not grounded in facts and the law.

As much as I love Stephen Colbert, truthiness has gone too far. Our judicial system, economy, and society require people to be able to think with their head more often than they "know with their heart"-- or at least be able to tell the difference.